The day before Australia day, hubby comes in from the backyard and says “I think I just got bitten by a Redback, something crawled up my shorts and a minute later I saw the spider crawl away” With hubbys track record lately I was starting to fear for the “Family Jewels” lol.  For you familiar with my art blogs there has been a myriad of mishaps culminating in the heart attack scare, however in this case it was just a false alarm!

PAINTING REDBACKS AND SNAKES

Redbacks and other creepy crawlies is something we have an abundance of here in Australia, although on this acrylic on board painting “The Snake Pit” snakes are shown in the zoo, in the everyday backyard there also lurks many dangers.  Something we take great delight with in scaring the wits out of any tourists that comes to stay, lol, well just a bit of teasing really.

Lets start with the Redback which is considered one of the most dangerous spiders in Australia and has a neurotoxin venom that causes severe pain.  There have been only 14 deaths recorded from the Redback spider bite which is quite low compared to the numbers of people that get bitten by them each year thought to be in the thousands.  Only about 20 percent of people bitten require hospital treatment and get the antivenin, after experiencing severe pain and swelling spreading from the site.  This can then lead to nausea, vomiting, abdominal and chest pain, headache, fever, tremors, coma, and of course death.

SEX AND ART

However spare a thought for the male spider as he is the one who almost never comes out of the sexual encounter alive!  The female who is much bigger than the male spider consumes the male spider in 2 out of 3 cases while the mating continues.  He is one of only 2 species of animals who actively assist the female in sexual cannibalism.  The advantage for the male spider is that he is able to copulate for a longer time whilst he is being eaten!!!  You men just don’t know when to stop!! LOL

THE ART OF THE ITCH

“Stop” being the operative word here as it brings me to my daughter’s boyfriend Brett and his itching, lol which I will tell you about in a minute.   We had actually decided in having a quite Australia day as we had done such a lot of partying in the weeks and days leading up to it.  However we quickly got into gear after Hillivi called to say she wanted to celebrate with us, much the same as Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis from Christmas with the Kransks.

So they arrived fresh from the Chemist with a bag full of potions and lotions to try to sooth Brett’s feet.  He had managed to get a thousand little bites all over his feet which were suspected ant or sandflies bites and they were driving him crazy.  The poor boy could hardly concentrate on anything other than the itching and tried to discreetly itch them with anything he could find all the while being told off by Hillivi.  The conversation over the dinner table pretty much became a 3 way deal whilst Brett was alternating his attention between the itching or Googleing cures for his ailment on the Iphone.

Every now and then he would pipe up and say “Did you know they suggest smearing vegemite on the bites or maybe marmite” or “They say here I should pop them with a needle and put on some alcohol”.   So watch out all of you planning a trip down under and come prepared.

Here is a quote I think fits well here by Bill Vaughan;

“We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.”

Till next time happy painting and sculpting or perhaps itching?

Love Marie xxx  (c)

If you enjoyed this art blog you may also enjoy this one also featuring my daughter and her boyfriend Brett also featuring more artworks of course ; 100 Some like it hot in Art

Why not come and have a look at Marie Jonsson-Harrison’s PAINTINGS FOR SALE, GICLEE PRINTS FOR SALE and SCULPTURES for sale or WALLBASED SCULPTURES.  Enjoy an original artwork on your walls or perhaps one on your bed ARTnBED.

We just received a Christmas card from the kids, nothing unusual about that I hear you say and you are so right – normally.

It read “To Mum and Dad, Seasons greeting, Miss you both! Don’t worry we are getting lots of treats up in ‘dem dare hills. Love Zipper & Pringles.

This naive acrylic painting depicts the Werocata Pony club which was located next door to our property for many years (that’s me on the left kissing my horse Rumor).

Back to the greeting card and we were tickled pink, as it was from our little miniature horses we had on the farm and their lovely new owners, who must have helped them with the spelling, lol mm.. maybe?

SEX, ART & HORSES

They are the cutest little misters around, Zipper is a gelding and Pringles a stallion and a very frisky little one he was too.

He would try to have a go at Zipper who was most put out and not at all interested in Pringles advances.  When that would not work he would be chasing my big horse Cally-she however was very interested and happily backed up to towards him, their only stumbling block was that she was more than twice as tall as him and there was no way that he could ever reach.

Oh the pitfalls of a short man (well in the horse world that is!)

So when that had come to nothing and poor little Pringles still had the urge he would have to scale the fence and try to find some lovely ladies somewhere else.  It happened quite a few times that my husband would come in and tell us we all had to hop in the car to go and try to find the little Horny Mr!

ART INSPIRATIONS

Once he had a female in his sight (the neighbor’s horses) nothing would lure him back home, we tried apples and carrots and stern words and praise, but in the end we had to try to come in from all four sides and throw a rope around his neck and the walk him back across the paddocks of the farm.  Of course he would still be ducking and weaving and doing loop the loops to get back to the pretty girls.   In the meantime Zipper is patiently waiting for his companion to come back and probably enjoying the peace and quiet for a little while.

Zipper had won a couple of ribbons at Pony club, well not really any big deal in the horse world but very cute.   Zipper belonged to our son Kai who was no more than 10 years old when he led the little horse around a little obstacle track and got a purple ribbon to show for it.

When we recently moved from the farm I found the bag of ribbons from the various horse shows but neither kid wanted to pack them, but I think we still took them, it’s hard to throw away all those memories!

So has the frisky little Pringles mellowed with age I hear you ask, well not according to the horses new mum and dad, Pringles does still, if the occasion arises so to speak, lol take off for dem dare hills to look for cute girl horses.

If you enjoy stories and paintings about animals here is another of my art blogs about my pet bird; 154 Galah Art

Therefore I think some wise words from Winston Churchill (British prime minister) is in order here although I think Pringles only listened to the first part before he took off!

“Never give in, never give in, never, never – in nothing, great or small, large or petty.  Never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense.”

Till Next Time happy painting and sculpting to you all!

Love Marie                                                                                   (c)

Why not come and have a look at Marie Jonsson-Harrison’s PAINTINGS FOR SALE, GICLEE PRINTS FOR SALE and SCULPTURES for sale or WALLBASED SCULPTURES.  Enjoy an original artwork on your walls or perhaps one on your bed ARTnBED.

The invitation read” HENS NIGHT, come and join Fiona and dance the night away before she walks down the aisle on her wedding day!  Girl’s Night Out with fabulous food and wine, Dress code Bling”- and Yes it was and Yes we did!  We had so much fun but I must say that hen’s nights had changed a lot since when I got married, and this certainly inspired me to both paint and write art blogs.

Funny thing is I cannot actually remember my own hens night, maybe that is because I did love to party and probably had a dozen girls nights out before I actually walked down the aisle, or maybe that is also something that we should blame on the champagne.  Oh the champagne has a lot to answer for!

THE ART OF THE BUCKS NIGHT & STAG NIGHT

I do remember that Bryan had a bucks night though, well maybe that is because there is pictorial evidence documenting the terrible deeds!  That was in the day when the groom would get tarred and feathered.  So there is a photo of a rather worse for wear groom standing in his jocks with shoe polish all over him, and I mean ALL over him.

Lucky for both him and I that it all ended well as some stories I have heard of what the so called “mates” do to each other sometimes ends in tears.  This next story is a classic example.  One” groom to be” was tied up after a very heavy night of partying to the pole of a jetty, by his best man and some mates.  It was a hot balmy night and the tide was out so the lads figured all was sweet and left him there and continued to party up the street.

THE ART OF SURVIVAL

Well a few hours passed as they do when you are having fun and finally they thought they better check on the groom, who at this stage was now millimeters away from drowning, the water was lapping up under his nose and he had to time his breath after each wave.  If they had waited another couple of minutes there would not have been any wedding to go to.  He lived to tell the tale but the story ended bitter sweet anyway as that was the last time that the best man and the groom ever saw each other, he and the other couple of mates involved were persons non grata at the ceremony and 20 years later they haven’t spoken to each other again, the bride saw to that and who can blame her.

This painting depicts seals at the Zoo (which sold in Japan) and the only thing it has in common with this story is the being up to ones neck in water!

ARTISTIC IDEAS FOR FUTURE PAINTINGS

Anyway us girls are a little more kinder to each other and these days the last night of freedom (as it were) are carefully orchestrated affairs with every little detail taken care of by very dedicated and wonderful bridesmaids and maids of honors.  At this one for my gorgeous niece Fiona (who is marrying handsome nephew Regan) held at the Ambar Lounge at the Ambassadors Hotel, there were hors D’oeuvres and drinks, a scrumptious main meal and for dessert a Penis cake.

Mmm…haven’t I mentioned that word yet!!!  That’s funny as they were everywhere on this night.  Just the generic brand actually and not attached to an actual man or anything!  There were lots of games both guessing ones, like” What part of the body does the groom prefer on his bride to be”, and each right answer was rewarded with a small gift which was a little bit naughty.

Then there was “Pin the tail on the Donkey” although in this case “he” was definitely not a donkey and “it” was certainly not a tail”.

Would you believe that I was the winner of that game, go me!  I obviously know where they grow, lol, although I will have to admit the blind fold was not done up too tight and I actually had a little peek.  Naughty me, and that won me a tube of Chocolate Body Paint, funnily enough my daughter came second and she got a funny little toy in a box, we haven’t figured out what it is yet, looks like a little torpedo, lol.

SEX & ART

The Penis cake was to die for and both I and my daughter was wildly excited it was also gluten free, so we could actually eat some.  It was presented with lots of little chocolate penises around it on a silver tray and the chief bridesmaid had made it herself, obviously another artist in the making!

She said her husband came home unexpectantly whilst she was baking and wondered if she always made penis cake and chocolates whilst he was away.  She also pointed out that the cake had collapsed a little in the middle but she had got over that problem by filling that part up with cream,  which all us girls thought was rather authentic anyway!

The rest of the girls went out clubbing afterwards and I should have too, as life is too short to sleep it away, next time!  But this time I caught the train home with my little box of goodies- oh did I forget to tell you about them, all of us got a little box full of little naughty sweets, yep you guessed it in the shape of you know what!!

So there I was, sitting on that train which was absolutely full of people, some perhaps a little bit worse for wear just like me (well it was 12am on a Saturday night) and I could not help having a little giggle to myself thinking about what my little box contained!

So here is something I’ve learned said by J.A.Wheeler (physicist)

“If you haven’t found something strange during the day, it hasn’t been much of a day.”

Till next time happy painting and sculpting to you all!

Love Marie  xx

Why not come and have a look at Marie Jonsson-Harrison’s PAINTINGS FOR SALE, GICLEE PRINTS FOR SALE and SCULPTURES for sale or WALLBASED SCULPTURES.  Enjoy an original artwork on your walls or perhaps one on your bed ARTnBED.